"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubblegum": Best Mano-a-mano Scenes

10. Car Race: Grease 

It's true there are a lot of car chase scenes to choose from, that the jagged spikes that tear up the car Danny's driving look like they were stolen from the set of a Little Rascals movie, and that it's possible neither car broke the speed limit during the chase.  Nonetheless, if I could take one chase scene with me to a desert island, this is the one that I want.

Honorable-mention car scene: 2 Fast 2 Furious

It's probably not the best race scene in the Fast/Furious series but I think it's from the movie with the best name.  That is until 8 Fast and Furious Cylinders is released in 2018.

9. Superhero Fight: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

 

I'm not sure if Scott Pilgrim meets the standard definition of a superhero but I'd take a video game motif over a Spider-Man romcom any day.  I would say the same about Batman, but Christopher Nolan's last two are way too enjoyable to criticize.

Honorable-mention superhero: Kick-Ass

The fight scene at the end is much better but I don't want to ruin the ending.  Another borderline superhero.

8. Musical: Deliverance

Soon after E.T. premiered, Reese's Pieces sales went through the roof.  If I had to guess I'd say that banjo sales skyrocketed and that canoe sales took a hit in 1972 after the release of Deliverance. This is my favorite scene in the movie, due in part to the fact that nobody is oinking during it.

Honorable-mention musical scene: Drumline

For those of you who thought that paradiddles couldn't be cool, I present Nick Cannon.

7. Swordplay: The Princess Bride

Lots of love for Matilda and The Princess Bride on this blog so far.  I have no regrets.

Honorable-mention swordplay scene: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Luke has daddy issues.

Bonus: Just for fun.

6. Bust a Move: Stomp the Yard

If you could figure out the formula for making a "so bad it's good" movie you could make a ton of money, like Rebecca Black amounts, so not really a ton of money but still more than you deserve. Stomp the Yard isn't at the Troll 2 or Plan 9 level but it's definitely a guilty pleasure. I never saw frats like these in college.

Honorable-mention bust a move scene: You Got Served

Definitely so bad, not sure it's good.

Starsky & Hutch (2004)

Ben Stiller doesn't win.

Zoolander

Ben Stiller doesn't turn left.

Bonus: Just for fun.

5. Atypical Competition: 8 Mile

Poetry Slam + Expletives + Insults + DJ + Rowdy Crowd = Rap Battle.

Honorable-mention atypical competition: My Summer Story

Tops + Bullies + Physics + Circle = Kill.

American Psycho

Vice Presidents + The 80s + Difficulties With Conformity = Business Card-Off.

4. Boxing: Rocky IV

There are also a ton of choices for best boxing match but how can any other fight live up to the one that singlehandedly ended the Cold War?

Honorable-mention boxing scene: Raging Bull

In this scene, it's Jake LaMotta vs. Sugar Ray Robinson but in the movie it's Jake LaMotta vs. Jake Lamotta.

The Fighter

The Boston shots from The Departed + The drugs of Requiem for a Dream + The storyline of Every Underdog Sports Flick = A pretty solid movie.

3. Gambling: Rounders

In this scene, being John Malkovich isn't all that fun.

Honorable-mention gambling scene: Poolhall Junkies

This is the only gambling scene I have ever seen where the dialog leading up the competition is more exciting than the actual competition.

The Sting

Great scene from one of the best-written movies of all time.

Casino Royale (2006)

When Pierce Brosnan retired as Bond after Die Another Day, 007 fans worried that his shoes would not be filled.  Daniel Craig put those fears to rest in Casino Royale (2006) with an interesting story, great acting, and in this scene a hand of poker with a p-value of about .0000003. Two years later, Quantum of Solace was released and prompted two questions 1, has a Bond movie ever had this confusing a name (Answer: Yes, Octopussy) and 2, what the heck is going on?

2. Chicken Race: Footloose

Moral of the scene: If your clothes are caught during a game of chicken, you will be a hero.

Honorable-mention chicken race: Rebel Without a Cause

Moral of the story: If your clothes are caught during a game of chicken, you will die.

Gattaca

Moral of the story: If you are okay dying in a game of chicken, you will be a hero.

1. Guns: Tombstone

The pen is mightier than the sword. The shot glass is mightier than the gun. 

Honorable-mention gun scene: Dirty Harry 

If Harry Callahan had fired 6 shots, the end of this movie would be very different.

"Check out the big brain on Brett!": Best Displays of Intelligence

10. Kid Brain: Matilda 

Long before Bradley Cooper took drugs to stop being a disgusting writer and turn into a brilliant playboy in Limitless, Matilda did the trick without performance enhancers.  Instead, Matilda proved in this scene that all you really need to become a child genius is neglect from your parents.

9. Chess Brain: Searching for Bobby Fischer

Joshua Waitzkin, the American chess star whose story is told in Searching for Bobby Fischer, didn't need to be neglected to become a chess genius.  He couples his brilliance with an act of supererogation in this scene at the end of the movie. All he needed was a little pressure from his parents and two rival coaches (played by Ben Kingsley and Laurence Fishburne) whose expert teaching is boiled down in the end of the movie to "don't take out your queen!" (Kingsley) and "take out your queen!" (Fishburne).

Honorable-mention chess brain: The Luzhin Defence

John Turturro plays Luzhin in this Nabokov adaptation.  In this scene (3:00 on) he wins his final chess tournament posthumously, with Emma Watson as Katkov playing the moves he wrote before his death.

8. Sorkin Brain: The Social Network

Matilda goes to college.

Honorable-mention Sorkin brain: A Few Good Men

Lieutenant Kaffee hits fungoes and serves his clients. Short clip of a great scene.

The American President

Don't mess with the ACLU. At 1:45, Martin Sheen thinks to himself "I could make a pretty good president." More a display of guts than intelligence but I didn't want to leave it out.

7. Persuasive Brain: Twelve Angry Men

When you've got as many scenes as My Dinner with Andre you better have some great moments.  Twelve Angry Men delivers. 

6. Speedy Brain: The Princess Bride

Speaking of My Dinner with Andre, Wallace Shawn stars in this scene which would probably be number one on this list if his reasoning didn't fail him in the end.

5. Detective Brain: Clue

I've played the board game "Clue" many times.  It's never this fun.

4. Musical Brain: Amadeus

For those who haven't seen the movie and aren't up on their 18th century composers I'll try an analogy. Salieri: Mozart, Nadal: Federer.  Or, if that's not fair perhaps Salieri: Mozart, Djokovic: Federer, or maybe Murray: Federer.  What I mean to say is that composing during Mozart's time is somewhat like playing tennis while Federer is active.  It's tough.  Just watch the clip.

Honorable-mention musical brain: Vitus

3. Gambling Brain: Rounders

The first but not the last Matt Damon appearance in the top 10.  Start at 1:33.

Honorable-mention gambling brain: Rain Man

Dustin Hoffman doesn't go full retard, Tom Cruise goes Days of Thunder to Vegas and they win big.

2. Debate Brain: Old School

 "That's the way you debate!"

Honorable-mention debate brain: Billy Madison

Less impressive, just as funny. The response. Off screen Bradley Whitford thinks to himself "I could make a pretty good Deputy Chief of Staff."

1. My Brain is Bigger than Your Brain: Good Will Hunting

Don't mess with janitors from Southie.

Honorable-mention my brain is bigger than your brain: Finding Forrester

Don't screw up the farther/further distinction with a quiet literary genius/basketball star.

The Emperor's Club

"Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever."